currently playing on my laptop: True Feeling by Galantis
Hello people!!! I’ve missed blogging!
The last months have been a whirlwind of writing and being a mother and learning to love myself again.
I went through a weird, emotionally rough patch in the fall and winter. For some reason, I began thinking I wasn’t good enough. No matter what I did, it wasn’t enough. Every time something less than awesome happened to anyone in my life, I found a way to blame myself. Like down to the smallest of situations. For example, I stepped in front of someone at the grocery store (not even ON them—we were simply both grabbing for some Prego!) and I found myself apologizing far more than was necessary. When bad things happened to my kids because school can be tough, I twisted the facts to blame myself. And these weren’t things I could ever hope to control. Yes, I should apologize when rude. Yes, I should be there for my kids when yuck happens. But I don’t have to wear the burden of guilt for any of that. But I did! For months!! Bizarre.
I’m not sure what led to this terrible mindset, but thankfully, I snapped out of it.
On New Year’s Day, I just couldn’t sleep. (like New Year’s Day night haha) I began thinking and thinking. I was actually almost lightheaded and half crazy. Then, something in my head said, “You forgot you are amazing. None of this is your fault.”
Now, I know very well I have loads and loads of work to do with regard to relationships and more. I need to be more thoughtful, better with time management, and so on. I am always trying to be a better sister, child, mother, wife, and friend. That is a good thing.
BUT I what I needed (and still do today) is to keep my achievements and good points in the front of my mind.
WHY would I think you care about this?
Well, we are all humans. I’m betting some of you can relate to this post. Negative self talk can really put a monkey wrench into writing, creating, laughing, and living, and I want to do all I can to let you know YOU ARE ALSO AMAZING.